for becky

I just finished rocking Finn back to sleep. I always, always check on him before I go to bed for the night...mainly to make sure he's still breathing. =) Well, tonight when I checked on him, he wasn't fully asleep, but my opening the door was enough to totally wake him up and he start crying. I let him cry for a few minutes before realizing that the only way he was going to settle down was with a little help. I got him up and started rocking him. I haven't rocked him in awhile mainly because he stopped falling asleep in my arms several months ago. Well, he settled down and I could tell by his breathing that he was asleep again after only a few minutes. I sat there rocking him amazed that, first of all, he fell asleep in my arms and that secondly he was staying asleep. I could have put him back in his crib, but I sat there rocking for a long time smelling his hair--just washed by Daddy with his Huggies shampoo--and thanking God for him. I thought of the times that he used to fall asleep in my arms every single night. I thought of when we brought him home from the hospital so tiny in his car seat. I thought of the little cry that grew louder each day until the neighbors could hear it. I thought of how many times I smile in a day because of him...some new discovery he's made or saying "Daddy" for the first time today (sounds like "Dally"). We asked him to say "Mommy" but guess what it sounded like..."Dally". Such a smart little boy that brings us such joy.

All this to say, Becky, that you WILL have sleepless nights (like last night?) and you will have times in the day when all Chloe needs to do is cry, but in the middle of the night when it's just the two of you rocking in the rocking chair, enjoy the smell of her hair and the sound and feel of her breathing and thank God for sweet Chloe Lynn...and give her a kiss from Aunt Sharon.